the guilt of having it good

life has been too wonderful lately, so naturally something bad is bound to happen. Forming those words, I know how ridiculous it sounds. I’m complaining about the wonderful aspects of my life, under the assumption that soon it’ll be taken away. Since my life has been ravishing recently, I’m sitting here pining, because sooner rather than later, my gut tells me it won’t last.

NUGGETS OF THOUGHTS:

My belief is that the fear of something bad coming after something good stems from guilt. Who am I to have have the right to be happy? Did I earn it? Was it something I said or did? Is it karma? I am so guilty about loving life that I expect the worst to come.

These concepts are so appropriated in every day culture through phrases like “every rose has its thorn”,  & “that’s too good to be true”, etc.

Call me mad, because maybe I am, but I find comfort in those negative emotion and states of doubt. Comfort in doubt? Yes, you read that right. For example, whenever you set the bar low, it’s easy to be proud of what you accomplish, or rather settle upon. You aren’t truly living up to your potential, but because the bar was set low, you win your own mind game. It’s like being so afraid of rejection, that you decide to say nothing at all.

How messed up is that?

I am not one to flaunt my happiness, but why is it in our society that being happy and especially showing you’re happy feels so wrong? We’re taught at a very young age to be discrete about our lives and emotions, so as not to disturb the emotions of those around us. But why? Seeing someone else’s happiness should make your heart warm. We shouldn’t be suppressing these emotions, we should be celebrating them.

Bars were meant to be set high, and happy lives were meant to be shared. If you take away anything from this post, I hope that you choose to share your successes with the world.

2 thoughts on “the guilt of having it good

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